Thoughts
by Angelis023
Summary: Well....it's just some thoughts of mine....please R&R!
1. Not now

**Title: **Thoughts.

**Author: **Angelis023

**Disclaimer: **I don't own HunterXHunter Ok….happy now!

**Note: **I'm not trying to copy anything here….really guys! But it looks like Of Fairytales But I promise you all it's not stolen or taken! Just read and enjoy! They are my thoughts whenever I come back from school….

**Warnings:** it's not starting like a normal story….there is no order and no description of places or times …just my thoughts!

Kurapica tried to breathe, but every time he tries to he feels sharp pain tearing his chest….the judgment chain gave him a little twinge in the chest but it felt like he was dying….

"Calm down!" Kuroro ordered with a concerned voice but it didn't show on his face…. Kurapica obeyed and took deep, long breaths before he calmed down. Then he noticed that he was in a half kneeling position and the thing that prevented him from falling was Kuroro's tight hug….He immediately steadied himself and pushed the other man away….

"There is no need to hug me…." He snapped at Kuroro. Kurorro was shocked by the sudden change in act, a few minutes before….Kurapica was desperate for help and now he snaps at him and pushes him away…. If saying Kuroro wa confused then it's the least thing could be said. Sometimes, he would appear like a little child that needs comfort, other times he would act just like the cold-hearted Black List Hunter he is.

Kuroro looked at the blond guy in front of him who was glaring at him. Kuroro just shrugged and walked away.

"You can try to say (Thank You) once in a while….you know!" Kuroro said before disappearing behind his room's door.

As soon as Kuroro disappeared, Kurapica slid to the floor, breathing loudly. No, he wasn't okay as he seemed, there was definitely something wrong with him. It's been days since this thing began; there was some thing or someone controlling his judgment chain. Every once in a while, he could feel the chain around his heart tighten or give him a twinge. And he would have trouble breathing like he was dying…..but always….. Kuroro was there to help him get through it.

Kurapica was tired, very tired. Each time it happens to him he wishes he would just die and rest once and for all. But instead, he would appear like a child that asks for help and from whom! From Kuroro!

He could feel the other man's concern….but he can't just forget his tribesmen…..NO!Kuroro killed his family and he should pay for it sooner or later. But not now, Kurapica was very tired now….so, he just lied on the floor not caring if it was cold…..he just closed his eyes and let the sleep overwhelm him.

-**End of the chapter-**

**Author's notes:** Well….that was very short! but what should I do! What do you think of it guys! Good or bad! As for the reviewers….a Huuuuuuuge thank you for you all….love you guys.


	2. possession

**Title: **Thoughts

**Author: **Angelis023

**Chapter: **2

**Disclaimer: **Don't own HunterXHunter. (Sigh)

**Pairing: **various characters.

**Note: **I was drunk when I wrote it! ()

* * *

Leorio couldn't understand why Kurapica looked annoyed whenever he went on a date with a lady. He just starts acting really weird so, Leorio would leave him alone and that would only make it worse.

This was strange, whenever he saw Leorio with a woman his blood would boil and he didn't know why….and the stupid Leorio would only make it worse by leaving him alone with this fire burning inside of him and go out with or without the girl just to annoy him.

Leorio finally understood why Kurapica was acting like that….because Leorio had the same feeling when he saw Kurapica with Kuroro. It was like the devil had possessed him. He wanted to jump on Kuroro and strangle him to death with no mercy. But hey! Who was he kidding! Kuroro was the leader of the Genei Ryodan. But Hell with This! Kurapica was getting along with him. Leorio was about to die when he saw Kurapica chuckle after Kuroro whispered something in his ear. Leorio could tell there was nothing between the two, yet there was something going on. They were both smart, book worm, great leaders, handsome men and skilled fighters but look at him! He was a normal guy who couldn't even master Nen, a poor doctor, not that handsome (although he wouldn't admit it in front of Kurapica even if he was dying) and also not that smart. Leorio was feeling uneasy whenever he saw them together, he couldn't understand why Kurapica even bothered to visit him every once in a while…he was nothing compared to the almighty Kuroro……But all his thoughts vanished when Kurapica one day told him how grateful he was to have a friend like HIM. Yet Leorio never stopped feeling uneasy whenever he saw the two men together…

I guess this is what they call POSSESSION…..

* * *

-The End-

**Note: **Tell me what do you think! I guess Leorio was really weird here () not that Kurapica was any less….but I like Kurapica so I'm not going to blame him…..please! Read and review! Love you all….BIG KISS


	3. for the sake of the beloved ones

**Title: **Thoughts

**Author: **Angelis023

**Chapter: **3

**Disclaimer: **I've already said it….I don't own HUNTERXHUNTER!!

**Paring: **Various parings.

Hisoka was really disappointed when he found out that Kurapica had prevented Kuroro from using his Nen. He had to look for a new toy now that his toy was broken. But he didn't have to look too far; the toy was right in front of him.

"Hello…" Kurapica answered his phone.

"My….My!! how are you Kupi-chan?!"

"Hisoka!!" Kurapica tensed immediately. Right beside him, Gon chocked with his ice cream while Killua stopped in the act of chewing his chocolate as for Leorio….well, he looked paler.

"What do you want?!" Kurapica asked with his coldest tone.

"Ow!! Too harsh Kupi-chan!! Can't I check on you every once in a while?!" Hisoka said, the sound of licking made Kurapica shiver with disgust.

"I said…what do you want?!" Kurapica said voice betraying nothing, Hisoka chuckled…

"Oh…not that much…I just want my share of the deal, you got what you wanted but I didn't gain any profit from the whole thing…now, I want my share…" Hisoka said, voice threatening. Kurapica was silent for a moment, he knew there was a trap being set for him but he just can't avoid it.

"And?!" he asked carefully.

"Well…my toy is broken, thanks to you…but I found a new toy…" Hisoka's voice was dripping with threats. For a moment there, Kurapica thought that Hisoka meant Gon but all his thoughts had vanished when he heard Hisoka's next statement

"You've grown strong, you know…" Hisoka hissed. Kurapica's eyes narrowed into slits with confusion but soon they widened as realization downed on him

"You want to fight me?!" he said. Leorio's color turned as white as a paper while Gon was shaking his head and moving his lips / No, Kurapica!! Don't agree!!/ Killua's eyes with surprise and something else / worry?!/.

"Oh…no, not that!! I'm not interested in fighting you…although I'm interested in those chains of yours…they look…..sexy!!" Hisoka licked his lips again, Kurapica shivered visibly

"What do you want then?!" he heard himself as.

"You became a ripe fruit….very delicious that I want to eat you…" Kurapica shivered again and looked for something to support him. He sank into a chair, eyes flashing red for a moment before returning to their normal blue color.

"So?!" he asked.

"Well…how about you meeting me in my hotel's room…York Shin Hotel room No.44…tonight!! Ah!! By the way… say Hi to Gon for me!!" Kurapica opened his mouth to answer but he was answered by the sound of the dead line, he stared blankly at his phone. He looked like a ghost. Gon watched him with concern.

"Kurapica!! What did he say to you?!" Gon asked, Kurapica didn't look at him, his eyes were glued to his cell phone screen as he received a text message

/ Don't be late!! I'll be waiting for you….you don't come and it's the last time you see your friends alive!!/

"Kurapica!!" Gon called at him. Kurapica looked up

"What?!" Leorio sat beside him and laid his hand on Kurapica's shoulder to comfort him but the blond stiffened even more and rose from his seat and went out of the room.

"Kurapica?!" Gon followed him. Kurapica sighed and said without even turning back

"Gon!! Please….I need to be alone…" he said before entering his room and locking himself inside.

Few hours had passed and Kurapica still hadn't come out of his room. At last, Leorio tried to talk to him. He knocked on the Kuruta's door and was answered by a quiet "Who is it?!"

"It's me…Leorio." He said. He waited for a reply but instead the door was opened and it revieled a beautiful blond guy. Leorio was shocked to see the look of lost and uncertainty in the blonde's eyes

"Can I come in?!" Leorio managed to say. Kurapica just nodded and gestured for him to enter. He shut the door and sat on the bed while Leorio sat in a chair across him.

"Now…do you want to tell me what that maniac want from you?!" Leorio asked. Kurapica looked at the ground; there was a long moment of silence before he spoke up

"I've told you that we had a deal…" Kurapica said and looked at Leorio who nodded his head

"By preventing Kuroro from using his Nen I've declined my part of the deal…and now, he wants me to give him his share…" Kurapica stopped and took a deep breath

"But how?! Kuroro couldn't use his Nen anymore…unless you move the judgment chain from his heart…" Leorio said, Kurapica shook his head

"He doesn't want Kuroro anymore…he wants me!!" he said and looked at the ground again. Leorio blinked with confusion he opened his mouth to ask but Kurapica beat him to it

"He wants me to meet him tonight in his hotel room…to….to….have sex…"

Leorio stood up immediately as if he was bitten by a snake

"WHAT?!" he shouted. Kurapica looked at him and continued

"I don't have another choice…." Leorio protested

"No…. say no to that pervert!!" Kurapica shook his head

"If I decline he'll hurt you guys…"

"No…we can defend ourselves…stop acting like the self sacrificing one!! You can run away….there is no shame in running away from something you can't face… go!! Leave the country!!" Leorio exclaimed, Kurapica sighed

"It's no use…I'm his new prey…he'll find me even if I went to hell…"

"What are you saying?!" Leorio looked terrified. Kurapica looked at the ground

"I'm going to see him tonight…"

"NO, you are not!! Kurapica look at me!! Run!! Go out of the country!! Do something don't just give up like this!!" Leorio tried to convince him but Kurapica had already made his mind.

At eleven o'clock in the night, Leorio watched Kurapica leave their hotel and head to York Shin's hotel.

Hisoka opened the door and saw the blond boy standing in front of him. He smiled

"I knew you would come…" Kurapica didn't answer; he just stared blankly at him. Hisoka licked his lips and gestured for the boy to come in.

As soon as he closed the door, Kurapica was pushed against the wall. He didn't protest when Hisoka kissed his neck, he just closed his eyes and tried to keep his mind blank. /soon it will be over…it's for the sake of my friends…/ that's what he kept telling himself.

**-The End-**

**A/N: **Hehehehe….guys don't sue me!! Special sorry for Spirits of evil, I know you love Hisoka but I couldn't resist the temptation…. Now guys…please, read and review!! Love you all.


	4. Goodnight my precious blond

**Title: **Thoughts.

**Author: **Angelis023.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them. (Sob)

**A/N: **There is a poem in here but it's not mine okay?!

* * *

"Hello…" I answered my phone.

"Kura!! Hi…look!! Don't wait for me tonight, we have a lot of work to do…I'll be late…don't forget to have dinner!!" I heard Leorio's voice.

"Okay…don't be hard on yourself!! If you feel tired then call another doctor!!" I said.

"Sure…" he said but I knew he wouldn't do it. I sighed

"See ya!!" he said.

"Bye…" I hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. Then I tossed it aside and returned to my book.

It's one o'clock in the morning and Leorio hasn't come back yet. I've read a book and drank a glass of milk to help me sleep but it didn't work. I'm lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. The bed smelled of Leorio's perfume but it was cold, I shifted and rolled over but still the bed was cold, I needed him beside me. Never in my life felt so lonely and for some reason tears began to form in my eyes. /Don't cry stupid!! What are crying for?!/ I snapped at myself, but the tears kept flowing on my cheeks making the pillow soaked. I cried for a long time, I cried myself to sleep.

At three o'clock in the morning, I was able to go back to my apartment, to my precious blond. I opened the apartment's door very quietly hoping that Kurapica wouldn't wake up. I was hungry but also very tired, I wanted to sleep first then eat. I entered the bedroom and switched on the small lamp on my desk. I began to unbutton my shirt but when my eyes fell on my lover's face I froze. I saw traces of tears on his beautiful face. I frowned a little as I noticed his hands were clutching to the sheets. /If only I could help him!!/

_I've listened to the sound of your worries,_

_And I've seen that loss in your eye_

_I've talked with the ghosts that haunt you,_

_I've watched the love inside you lie_

I noticed that he was about to fall off the bed so, I moved his tiny body into a more comfortable position.

_As your head lies on your pillow,_

_And you are trying not to care_

_A million points of starlight_

_Are aimed at your golden blond hair_

_How many nights did you lie awake?_

_Crying in the silver moonlight_

_Your bright blue eyes are looking sad _

_Like a baby angel's when crying at night?_

His body stiffened suddenly, and his head began to turn nervously on the pillow, his grasp on the sheets tightened. I sighed /he's having another nightmare…/

My hand reached out to shake his shoulder gently

"Kurapica!! Wake up!! It's me…Leorio…"

His eyes fluttered open, horror written all over his face, sweat drops formed on his forehead…

"Leorio?!" he whispered, voice trembling. I moved and sat beside him, hugged him tightly moving my hand up and down his back to comfort him.

_Forget your tears for one more night_

_I have one message left to send:_

I cradled him to sleep as I whispered

_Don't cry yourself to sleep at night,_

_Goodnight, my precious blond._

I placed a warm kiss on his forehead as he drifted to sleep.

-The end-

* * *

**A/n:** what do u think guys? Like it, hate it?! Read and Review

Love you guys.


	5. Parting

**Title: **Thoughts.

**Author: **Angelis023.

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna pass this part 'cause it's disturbing…

**A/N: **there is some shounen ai and maybe some yaoi…so, for people who can't stand these things please click on the CLOSE or BACK buttons and you'll get rid of it…

* * *

Kurapica always hated parting with his friends. The ache would start a week before and he would spend most of his time watching them quietly, memorizing all their moves and every word they said.

Today was one of these days, after 5 days they will part and each one of them will go on his own way (except for Gon and Killua who always traveled together). He was sitting on the sofa, a book resting in his lap…

"Kurapica?!" Gon asked. Kurapica looked at him without answering.

"Are you okay?!" the black haired boy asked, worry shown in his chocolate eyes. Kurapica gave him a small smile

"Yes Gon, I'm perfectly fine…" he said. Gon smiled back

"But you hadn't said anything during the past couple of hours…is something bothering you?!" Kurapica shook his head. Now Leorio and Killua noticed the conversation

"Yeah Kurapica!! You've been acting really weird these past few days…" Leorio said and Killua nodded. Kurapica, feeling he was cornered gave them a sheepish grin before settling for an answer…

"I'm really fine guys…don't worry!!" he acted as if he was reading his book while Leorio and Killua exchanged looks; Gon looked confused but didn't say anything.

At dinner time, Kurapica excused himself after 15 minutes of staring at his plate, Leorio followed him shortly

"Hey!!" Leorio tried to start a conversation

"….." no answer from Kurapica

"What's wrong?!" Leorio tried again

"Nothing…I just don't feel hungry right now, I'll eat sometime later…" Kurapica said in a tone leaving no room for argument. Leorio stared at him for a moment before leaving the blond Kuruta alone.

Kurapica sighed with relief; he shouldn't let his friends know how sad he felt. Of course he wants them to know how much they mean to him but it's just that….after 5 years of being alone it's not easy to expose your feelings like that.

On the last day, they spent their time together. At night, Leorio suggested celebrating. He brought 2a bottle of red wine and 2 cans of root bear for the younger boys. Killua protested and told them that he was used to drink wine at the Zaoldyeck's mansion but Leorio refused to and told him that he and Gon were under the legal age.

"What about Kurapica?!" Killua asked, pointing an accusing finger towards the blond teenage. Kurapica raised an eyebrow but kept silent, Leorio sweat dropped

"Well…eh!! Kurapica is mature enough to drink this stuff…" he said Killua was still unconvinced

"He's seventeen years old for God's sake…he's not mature yet!!" During this Gon took his can of beer, opened it, poured the liquid in a glass and began to sip his beer quietly. Kurapica mirrored his action and poured for himself a glass of wine…

"It's not about age!! It's about who's mature enough…" Leorio tried.

"I admit then that Kurapica is the most mature one of us but then **You** shouldn't drink this thing…" Killua bit back. Leorio's face turned red, he was about to say something when he noticed that Kurapica was about to finish his glass

"Hey!! Wait for us!!" Leorio poured the red liquid in his glass and raised it.

"Let's have a toast!!" he said. The other three raised their glasses

"To our friendship!!" Kurapica muttered quietly.

"To our friendship!!" his friends exclaimed. Kurapica downed his drink and motioned for Leorio to pour some more. Leorio raised an eyebrow

"Someone is feeling uneasy…" he announced. Kurapica stared at the red liquid while Gon and Killua looked at Leorio questioningly. Leorio shrugged and started a conversation

"So Gon!! What are you planning on doing now?!"

"Get that Greed Island game and try to find my father…" Gon said, smiling cheerfully

"What about you, Killua?!" Leorio asked. The white haired boy shrugged and said

"I'm going with Gon, of course!!" he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How about you, Kurapica?!" Kurapica kept silent for a moment then he answered

"I shall continue what I've started…" he said. Gon's mood changed immediately.

"You are still going after the spiders?!" Gon asked, Kurapica nodded

"I'm living to fulfill my promise…" he said.

"You know it's not a way for living!! You stop that revenge and have a normal life! You want to help your people?! Fine… find a nice girl, marry her, have a couple of kids who have the red eyes…" Leorio said, irritate written all over his face. Kurapica stared at him as if he had grown another head

"Are you crazy?!" Kurapica managed to say.

"I can't stop now…I can't have a normal life, and suppose I did and married a girl and had kids, it's not assured that they will inherit the scarlet eyes…neither will their children…" Kurapica shouted, voice shaking.

"Guys… we'll part tomorrow, please…it's not a good time to have a fight!!" Gon pleaded.

"You're right Gon… we'll part tomorrow and my plane takes off early, I should go to bed…Goodnight!!" Kurapica said and left the room before anyone could stop him.

"Happy now, you old man?!" Killua said. Leorio didn't answer, he looked upset too. He just poured another glass and downed the whole thing in his mouth.

"You should go to bed, too…" he said after few minutes of silence.

"But…" Gon tried to protest but Leorio gave him a silencing glare. So he shut his mouth and followed his white haired friend.

After making sure the two kids were asleep, Leorio went to Kurapica's room. He knocked and waited for a reply. When he didn't get any, he opened the door

"Kurapica?!" he whispered. The blond was lying on the bed, his back facing Leorio and he was hugging the pillow. The only source of light was the small lamp on the nightstand.

"Get the hell out of here!!" Kurapica muttered but Leorio didn't obey, instead he inched towards the blond and sat on the bed beside the lying figure. He extended his left arm and touched Kurapica's shoulder.

"Kurapica!! Listen to me!!" he said, Kurapica slapped his hand.

"I don't want to hear your voice…get out!!" the blond snapped at him.

"No, I won't get out…look! I'm sorry for what I said earlier but I was upset…" Leorio stopped, waiting for Kurapica to react but the blond stayed still.

"I… don't want you to go down that path, it's dangerous…I don't want to lose you…" Leorio whispered. This time, Kurapica did look at him. Leorio was surprised to see that his eyes were scarlet but there wasn't that crazy flame of anger in them. Instead there was… sadness.

"Leorio, I can't let them down, I promised them… I'm afraid too; every time we part I don't know if we are going to meet again…now, I'm terrified… I know how dangerous the path I'm taking is but it's something I have to do… to be able to rest… I'll do my best to come back to……you" Kurapica touched Leorio's cheek and gave him a weak smile. Leorio smiled back, held the pale hand of the blond between his palms and placed a light kiss on it.

"I'll be waiting for you…" he whispered.

"You should get some sleep now!!" Leorio said, getting up but Kurapica grabbed his arm

"Stay here?!" Kurapica asked, eyes begging him to approve. Leorio's eyes softened, he nodded and lay beside the blond, hugged him and cradled him to sleep.

-End of the Chapter-

* * *

**A/N: **well, well, well….what do you think?! I think Kurapica is too emotional here, why can't he shut up and let it go?! OH!! I forgot, I wrote this crap well, if u like it or not please review and tell me what did u like and what u didn't but in a nice way please!! thanx to all my reviewers I love u all…. 


End file.
